champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
All I want is dick and wine.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
