My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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