Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
