Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
