i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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