I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
