taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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