This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
