Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
