My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just forgot I was standing up.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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