I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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