chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
