I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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