So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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