One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I wear drunk well.
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