Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
