He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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