nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
