real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
