i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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