2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
