My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You're like the curious george of whores
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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