guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Randomize