Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
