Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
