dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
