I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
