I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
