Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
