Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
