**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
