Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
