ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
