It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
