i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
