: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
