Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
