its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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