It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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