I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
