He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
