I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
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