im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize