Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
