Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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