I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
