You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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