I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
