I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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