Define "chronic" masturbator.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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