Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
