Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
