Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i love accidental penises.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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