no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
