No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
