Whatcha textin bout Willis?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize