Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
