I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
