I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
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