well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
